That’s it: Humanity is Screwed- Thanks a lot ‘Brain Eater’s Bible’!

What if The Zombie Survival Guide By Max Brooks and The Zombie Combat Manual by Roger Ma had been one book and written by a Zombie about surviving and combating humans?

Enter The Brain Eater’s Bible (BEB) by ZOMBIE AUTHOR J.D. McGhoul and with help from (alter ego) human Pat Kilbane!

WARNING: The following review may be too bad-ass for people who simply ‘kinda like’ Zombies. Reading The Brain Eater’s Bible may lead to you wanting to actually be a Zombie… seriously.

We at ZZN get the chance to review a lot of books and we feel it is our duty to bring you an honest evaluation of the books we check out. That being said, this reviewer will do his very best not to sound giddy as he explains the sheer epically amazing awesomeness that is the BEB.

Newly reanimated? Fear not new Zombling! Veteran Zombie J.D. McGoul is here to help!

The first thing readers will notice as you pick up this little masterpiece, is the phenomenal quality of the hard-cover book you are about to partake in. From it’s small size to its over 200 full color pics the author has done everything in his power to make this book visually appealing in every way (See some samples of the pics and various styles within the book below).

Zombie books are everywhere you look these days. They come in all different sizes, shapes, and mediums and readers can enjoy their copies digitally, in physical form, graphic novels, and even audio for those to busy or just too damn lazy to read.

Ultimately, they all present the same thing. A human perspective of the Zombie Apocalypse. Sure, some how-to books give tips on survival and combat and even using Zombie tactics to get a head in business, while others simply tell stories of survival. There is even a book about the inner workings of the Zombie brain, but let’s face it- though they are all great in their own right, they still only provide a human perspective.

Zombie destruction comes in many forms! Thanks to The Brain Eater's Bible, Zombies stand a chance!

So how does an author/actor/producer like Pat Kilbane get into the mind of a Zombie to pen a novel from the perspective of the Living Dead? Dedication… and balls!

To become his alter-ego, Kilbane donned Hollywood quality makeup effects and wardrobe and went around interviewing neurologists, U.S. Navy SEAL Snipers, martial arts experts and firearms instructors to learn everything he could about the threats humans pose to zombie-kind.

To get up close and personal with hand-held tools of Zombie demise, he even visited swap-meets (still in Zombie Garb) to find antique weaponry and test them out! Kilbane also teamed up with an amazing photography crew, fellow actors, artists and make-up masters to document his life as a McGhoul.

The Brain Eater’s Bible is a field manual for the newly reanimated Zombie from someone who has been there, and done that. McGhoul offers tips and sage advise on all a Zombie could need to know. Curious as to what part of the brain is tastiest? How about why you crave brains in the first place? Want to know how to plan an attack on the “fleshies” to give you the best chance at success? McGhoul covers it all!

Now, I know what you are thinking: “Duh, aren’t Zombies too slow and stupid to read this book, let alone write it?”

The answer is yes… and no. You know that debate about if Zombies are fast or slow? McGhoul explains that they are both. The slow movers are everything you have come to know, love, and fear about the undead.

The fast kind… well, they are a whole new race. They think, exercise logic, and even can communicate. McGoul is one of these Zombies and this book is written for others just like him. McGhoul keeps a journal and that journal becomes this book. The journal explains that the Walking Dead are victims of the “PACE” virus and how said virus replaces the brain with an organ called an E-node that is crucial to Zombie survival and development.

Move over Wolveriene! Zombies have a healing factor too!

The E-node fortifies bones in the body so that if they are broken, they literally heal themselves. The nerve endings die making bullet wounds feel like little more than a gentle nudge and, in fact, all pain is a thing of the past. The only thing that can take down a Zombie is the destruction of the E-node (which explains the need for a “head-shot”).

Want some more bad news for mankind?

Tough, here it comes anyway: the more brains the Undead consume, the stronger they become. Living human brains literally strengthen and empower the E-node giving Zombies super-human strength, a regenerating nature to all wounds, and frankly, just taste yummy!

McGoul explains from a scientific perspective how this is all feasible, from documents he found ransacking and what to expect when eating brains!

Now, look not to advocate cannibalism or anything, but this reviewer’s name is Steve The Zombie and, although I have never tried them, the way McGhoul describes each part of the human brain and its various tastes… makes one curious as to how he knows so well… and if he is right!

As a Zombie Survival Expert, I have made a living offering advise on how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, but after reading the work of J.D. McGhoul I have to say perhaps I have been batting for the wrong team! Maybe being a Zombie is much more wicked than we thought. What if we didn’t become mindless monsters, but instead became the next step in the evolutionary ladder?

J.D. McGhoul is one bad ass Zombie and with his help, new Zombies will make it so humans don't stand a chance!

Scary thought isn’t it? While reading The Brain Eaters Bible you can’t help but think of alternate titles for the book. How about “The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living.” or “The Zombie Combat Manual: A Zombie’s Guide to Hand-to-Hand Combat with Humans”.

Truth be told, the only reason these titles were not used, is because apparently there are some similar book titles for humans out there.

Is 151 pages of Zombie instruction goodness not enough? McGhoul thought of that with some tasty bonuses for your iPad! The iPad app offers more sweet bonus features than a blu-ray disk with videos, 3-D Zombie action, the book itself, animations and an awesome gallery!

So in closing, if you like Zombies buy this book. If you LOVE Zombies, click on over to Amazon and buy the book NOW!

Zombie Enthusiasts, Zombologists, hell, even Zombies are hoping to see more from the talented J.D. McGhoul and his counterpart Pat Kilbane!

About Steve The Zombie

Steve The Zombie has an interesting claim to undead fame- His cousin had such an impact on the Zombie community that XBOX made a game about him- A little game called "Stubbs the Zombie". Like Stubbs, in life Steve was a Salesman with excellent communication skills. In fact, his alter ego Steve Adelmund has published several Zombie News articles, a fictional Zombie book, founded and organizes an annual Zombie Walk for charity, and is an avid Zombologist dedicated to the advancement of understanding Zombies and knowing all things Zombie Survival. His perspective is unique, and the knowledge he shares may save your life.

When asked "You don't really believe in Zombies do you?", his typical answer is "Wait, you REALLY DON'T believe in Zombies?"

Contact Steve
Check him out on Twitter @SteveDaZombie

Frightful Discussion

  1. This is an awesome book!

  2. Dave says:

    Great thoughts Steve. Keep that melon working.

  3. Dave says:

    The evolution of Zombies via the E-node, Hmmmm. More brains = more advancement. Hmmmmm

Trackbacks

  1. [...] knowing that a “made for zombies” iPad app will now be available for free. On June 30th, Brain Eater’s Bible – Lite was unveiled in the iTunes App Store, and the full version of the app will be reduced [...]

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