Harvard Confirms Plausability of the Undead

In a recent article in Popular Science, a Harvard assistant professor of psychiatry takes a new look at the little critters (prions) from the 90′s that caused “mad-cow” disease.

According to his study, the assistant professor claims that:

An effective agent would target, and shut down, specific parts of the brain, says Steven C. Schlozman, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard University and author of The Zombie Autopsies, a series of fictional excerpts from the notebooks of “the last scientist sent to the United Nations Sanctuary for the study of ANSD,” a zombie plague. Schlozman explained to PopSci that although the walking dead have some of their motor skills intact—walking, of course, but also the ripping and tearing necessary to devour human flesh—the frontal lobe, which is responsible for morality, planning, and inhibiting impulsive actions (like taking a bite out of someone), is nonexistent. The cerebellum, which controls coordination, is probably still there but not fully functional. This makes sense, since zombies in movies are usually easy to outrun or club with a baseball bat.

The most likely culprit for this partially deteriorated brain situation, according to Schlozman, is as simple as a protein. Specifically, a proteinaceous infectious particle, a prion. Not quite a virus, and not even a living thing, prions are nearly impossible to destroy, and there’s no known cure for the diseases they cause.

X-ray images of cow brains effected by prions appear to be similar to Swiss-cheese, unlike the image to the left.

How could this lead to real-life Zombies, scientifically? ZZN has spent countless hours researching this and we have good news, and bad…

Fortunately for humanity, prion diseases are fairly easy to contain within a population.

Unfortunately, it is a very realistic and distinct possibility that prions could be attached to a parasite or virus to make it more infectious… and there are two types of species that could make this happen if a biochemist was hell-bent on world domination and combined the three:

The first is a parasite we first reported on about a week ago called Leucochloridium paradoxum. This nasty little critter is not a “parasitoid” (parasite that always results in death), but does successfully take complete control of the host, and leads it directly into the path of danger. It does this specifically for the purpose of contaminating new hosts, much like a Zombie.

It is important to note that the brain possibly the most protected part of the body. Not only is it protected from physical harm by the skull, but also from parasitic and viral harm through other natural defenses… but that does not stop the second natural evil: Naegleria fowleri.

According to the American Center for Disease Control (CDC):

“Naegleria fowleri is a free-living ameba commonly found in the environment in water and soil. Infection in humans is rare, but serious. The risk for infection from Naegleria fowleri might be reduced by measures that minimize opportunities for water to enter the nose when using warm freshwater lakes or rivers.”

The ameba has infected only 144 humans world-wide, however has an extremely high mortality rate, with only 6 recorded survivors.

“In humans, N. fowleri can invade the central nervous system via the nose, more specifically the olfactory mucosa and cribriform plate of the nasal tissues. The penetration initially results in significant necrosis of and hemorrhaging in the olfactory bulbs. From there, amoebae climb along nerve fibers through the floor of the cranium via the cribriform plate and into the brain. The amoebae begin to consume the cells of the brain piecemeal by means of a unique sucker apparatus extended from their cell surface. It then becomes pathogenic, causing primary amoebic meningoencephalitis (PAM or PAME). PAM is a syndrome affecting the central nervous system. Discovery’s video showing the Naegleria Fowleri in action: http://animal.discovery.com/videos/monsters-inside-me-the-brain-eating-amoeba.html “

-Wikipedia

Imagine if you will, the combination of these three natural hell-raisers.

Humanity would be screwed, to put it lightly.

The resulting necrotic-parasitoid would be able to burrow into the flesh like the Leucochloridium paradoxum and attack both the brain and central nervous system, take control of the body, and use its Naegleria fowleri abilities to attack and destroy the parts of the brain it did not need.

Parasites are very adapting and evolving creatures. They find ways to survive in almost any environment until they find a new host, and find new ways to spread.  This necrotic-parasitoid would most likely begin to spread through out the body over the course of several hours and possibly take up to twelve to take control of the body. It is possible that the parasite would lay ‘eggs’ under the finger and toe nails which survive on the “gunk” under your nails, and on your teeth, that would live off of the plaque. When coming in contact with uninfected flesh, the eggs would hatch to spread to a new host. The warmth of blood would increase the speed of the spread of the parasite, which is why a bite or scratch would be most effective.

Zombies would not be attacking you for your brain, or even your flesh- they would be attacking you to survive and spread.

It should be noted that hundreds, if not thousands are living in the average human’s system at any given time. Most live a full life cycle and die harmlessly.