With the Zombie Apocalypse looming ever-so near, it is becoming more and more important for the average Joe to be ready. By “ready” we don’t just mean for the Zombies and how to survive them, but other threats that may get to you first! Here are 5 things that you can expect to present as much of a challenge, if not more of one, then the Undead when Ragnorok finaly gets under way!
Weapons Mishaps-
Look, we’re not exactly sure how to put this, so we’ll just say it: You are not John Rambo. Even if you have someone in your survival party who is, you are not.
Guns and Blades are not simple to maintain. For guns you’ll need ammo, oil, tons of TLC and thats just to keep the thing working. What if you forget to turn off the Safety and you are trying to clean the barrel? Those darn triggers are touchy things…
So you’ll avoid it by using blades you say? Not a bad idea, as long as you plan to check the handle regularly (like after every encounter), keep it sharp and keep it clean! With video games, movies and how-to vids all over the interwebs, it looks like staying safe in the Zombie Apocalypse is as easy as picking up any weapon you can get your paws on… its not.
For weapons we recommend an AK47. Max Brooks put it best when he said you can bury the thing in three foot of mud and dig it up six months later and it will fire like it was brand new. You’ll want a gun that won’t jam easily.
More importantly than choosing the right weapon is knowing how to use it. Before touching any weapon, you should be sure to take a safety course or six. Anywhere you can purchase a weapon (with the exception of “the streets”) can give you a list of where to take classes. Safety first!
Other Survivors-
When the end of the world goes down you’ll have stuff. Lots of stuff, or maybe nothing at all, but whatever you have, others will want it. People will want your stuff. Think about it. Money will hold no value, but everyday survival items will be like gold!
People will not only want your stuff, but will do anything they can to get it and when there is no real law anymore, people will kill to get what they want. This is why it is more important then ever to pick your ZSC (Zombie Survival Crew) early. Choose people you trust who will not make you fend for yourself when the fit hits the shan so to speak. Make sure to pick people who are good at what you suck at. If you are good with cars but suck at building stuff, make sure your team has a great general contractor to help fortify your your home or place of refuge. It also helps to have a great weapons expert (see above).
If you must go it alone, its always a good idea to know how to fend for yourself physically. Taking a karate or judo class now, may save your back-side later.
Infections/Parasites/Bacteria etc.
Its no secret that paper cuts suck. Imagine a world where there is absolutely little to no antibacterial available and any little nick could lead to gangrene and to save your own life you may have to amputate. Unfortunately, amputation can lead to you bleeding to death.
Okay, that seems a bit extreme and perhaps it is, but the reality is that basic first aid may become more valuable than decent weapons. The Flu is not so bad when you can get a vaccine shot, but when those shots are not available a simple sneeze could give away your location to the horde or even pillagers and we all know what that could lead to (see above)!
Truth be told, we all have billions of germs and quite a few parasites living in us harmlessly… for now.
The Beast that is Mother Nature-
Granted Zombie Survivalist Max Brooks suggests you get to the harshest environments on the planet when the Zed rise, but if you do, be prepared for the worst! Blizzards beget frostbite and freezing to death sucks. Deserts lead to heat stroke or dehydration. Yeah, that sucks too.
Let us not forget that Mother Nature has several actual beasts like Cujo in the picture to the left. Wolves, Vipers, Bears, Spiders, and all the other creatures with primal instinct are hungry and if you are not prepared to identify them before they identify you, you better be prepared to be dinner.
Kill or be killed. Remember before, when we suggested that you take self-defense courses? Survival courses would not be out of the question also. If nothing else, read up on the area you plan to go to and how to survive the very worst it has to offer!
Hunger-
Most people are in a decent place where they can take food for granted. Food is everywhere! The average American spends more a month on Fast Food than some people make in a week in other parts of the world. If you are hungry now, you can step away from the computer and mosey on over to the fridge and graze for a while. Go ahead, a sammich sounds yummy… we’ll wait.
Ahhh!
Feel better? Good. Know this: Food will not be so easily accessible when the world goes to hell. Unless you own a farm or your own apple grove, you will not be able to get to food very easily unless you stock up on canned goods now. (Oh, and word of advise, the best tool you can own will be a can opener… seriously. All the canned food in the world is useless if you can’t open the friggin stuff!)
Our advise? Easy, learn to farm. More importantly, learn to farm in your chosen survival environment. You may be able to harvest an entire field with your bare hands, but that does nothing for you in the harsh frozen tundra of Alaska!
Final words of advise-
The bottom line is think, act, and work now before the world falls into the Apocalypse. If you are reading this, you most likely believe that it will happen in your lifetime. The good news is you are not alone. The Undead may rise, and if and when they do, you should know how to defend yourself. You also need to learn to survive without the luxuries you now love so much- Electricity, Shelter, Food. Read up on survival now and it may save you later!
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What about Nuclear Power Plants, when they they are unattended and not controlled, wouldn’t everyone eventually get radiation poisoning?
I couldn’t agree more. It’s kind of sad if you go out holding on to your super-cool sub machine gun while you starve to death. Serious zombie preppers focus first on food, water, shelter, heat, power etc…
http://www.Plan4Zombies.com is a good resource for info and gear. The great thing is, if the zombies never come, you’re still prepared for earthquakes, power outages, floods, and such.
Most definately use the bloated cans as ammo or in a hot flame with some nail….broken glass for a handy nade……dont forget it has an unstable time delay ;{p I must agree with the takng safety, survival and defense cousrses, or atleast well read and practiiced. I have a small arsenal and fair ammo stockpile. I also have my crew selected from lawenforcement, active and retired/x military. I am a jack of all trades. Marksman with pistol auto&revolver + rifles and SG’s, . Canning, chemicals nice and not so nice, carpentry, electrical, automotive, mtn + forest + moderate desert survival all seasons for those environments. 14yrs search and rescue in and around washington and oregon cascade mtn range, man tracking, radio coms, white water rescue, mtn + ice and rock climbing. Oh my i am rambling….lol. Bring it on is the only way to test ones salt. More later and i promiss
without the ramble.
Hmm, interesting.
Here in Scotland there is little threat of dangerous wildlife, but there is the danger of terrain when in the wilderness. It gets very cold here so as long as you are wrapped up then you shouldn’t freeze, but there is a lot of mountainous areas out there. Hilly areas may seem like a good place to hold out once you have gathered supplies, however, one fall and you may be dragging yourself along the ground with some broken bones.
I would hate to stay in Australia in the apocalypse due to the venomous critters that roam free there. I am glad that I would not have that problem here. Anti-venom probably wouldn’t be easy to come by.
Good stuff though. Hunger would be a bitch.
Oh my God, I loved this.
Too funny!
From you, the highest complement! Thanks
Just wanted to say that any ol’ knife will open a tin can, even a butter knife, but don’t eat the contents if the ends of the can are ballooned out.
This means it’s spoiled and better used trying bean-ball a lame-brain. Oh, and wolves don’t attack people, despite what the writers of ‘The Grey’ would have you believe. Just sayin’!
Pretty much anything will attack if it is hungry enough.
very usefull info!!!!